Book Confession: I hate recommending books to people.
I realize that for someone who reads as often as I do
that this is a very strange aversion. Usually people who read and write love to
share their favorites with others, it encourages a sense of community and
people tend to like that. But I dislike being put on the spot – and as a book
blogger I’m inevitably asked for a recommendation which consequently leads to
me breaking out in hypothetical hives and a cold sweat and here’s why:
It’s not that I don’t want to tell you all about the book
that I just finished or am mid-way through. I do! I want to gush about all the
books that I’m spending the better half of my time reading, even the ones I don’t
like. The problem is that my comfort level with most situations and topics is
very broad and (for the most part) mature. I do not have a problem reading
through awkward or uncomfortable scenes or subject matter, which you may find
offensive. Language that is entirely excessive and out of control? No problem.
Racy scenes that leave you in need of a change of underwear? Nope, they don’t
bother me. LGBT, incest, politics, violence? I’m still reading it. If the book
is just plain weird or beyond the scope of your imagination? I’m probably loving it. Here’s the thing, I rarely
find anything offensive - unless you’re blatantly trying to offend me (I don’t
take books personally – it’s not like the author is attempting to victimize me)
and even then your success rate is likely to be slim. So number one, I don’t
want to send you off with a book that you’re going to tell me later offended
you to no end. Ain’t no one got time for that.
Secondly, you may be smarter than me. Or not.
How many times have you offered up a list of your
favorites only to be “poo-pooh’d” by the lame brain hipster know-it-all who
wants to discuss/debate existentialism versus genetic mutation, Nabokov, the
theory of relativity and death all at the same time (likely in iambic
pentameter)? Come on, you know the kind – we’ve all met this person in at least
one college English class in our lifetime. Sorry, you’re already confusing me
with your ridiculousness and I’m not interested in discussing my literary
prowess with your big brain. Thanks, but no thanks.
Same goes for those friends of mine who actually thought Fifty Shades of Gray or the Twilight books were AH-Mazing reads.
They weren’t, and likely you never advanced past a tenth grade reading level,
enjoy watching the Kardashians and have seen way to much MTV (not that there's anything wrong with this - these things make the world go 'round). But considering
the popularity of all those things, this would be the majority of people and we’re
probably not on the same page. My favorite books are not going to be the same as yours.
Sorry, not sorry. Also - I can honestly say those things because I have, in fact, read all of the Twilight series, as well as the Fifty Shades series and I've seen the Kardashians.
But actually sorry if that last paragraph just offended you –
truth hurts but you’re still a lovely person!
Third, I am an unabashedly quirky, open minded, hopeless
romantic who just wants to be taken seriously. That is not likely to happen if
you all think I’m crazy because I send you down the yellow brick road reading Middlesex (which you should read because
it is, in fact, an excellent book). So while I will do my very best to steer you in the
right direction with a recommendation, please note that there will be some
internal struggle on my part to assess which books I’ve read that you would
probably enjoy. Good news is that I’ve read a lot, so there’s likely to be
something in the back of my mind that would be appropriate. But on the off
chance that I send you away with a novel and you come back disappointed,
confused or offended, please remember - you were warned.
-Whit
-Whit
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